Hell Is Other People: Elevators

I think it’s a fairly common fantasy that people indulge in to wonder what they would do if there was like a day where all laws were suspended and one could just unleash hell on whoever we choose. I _think_ this is the premise of those horrible-looking The Purge movies, but there’s no fucking way I’m watching that dumb garbage to confirm it.

That said, I did however indulge in a brief fantasy about this idea this morning when I boarded the elevator at work. I think, if granted a Purge Day where I could murder without consequence, I would murder everybody who gets on the elevator AFTER me but presses a button for a floor BEFORE mine.

I realize this is completely irrational, not at all their fault, and possibly sociopathic.

I also don’t care.

In an era where a presidential candidate literally holds no beliefs and cannot recognize factual truth, and whose supporters actually see this as a good thing, does a light fantasy about stabbing a completely innocent person because they inconvenienced me even move the needle? I don’t think it does.

So, beware, co-habitants of my office space. If society collapses, I’m not going after cops or the Mayor or even people who’ve specifically done me personal harm. It is you, lady who gets on at the 1st Floor and gets off on the 5th Floor, who will die by my hand first.

Author: Shawn Ritchie

Chicago, Whiskeys, Guitars, Blackhawks and Nerdery.

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