The Shit Rich People Get Away With Is Wild

Rick Dickhead Fucks Over Everyone, Might Even Pay The Price For It (But Don’t Hold Your Breath)

The gist here is that this rich prick of course felt that he wasn’t rich enough, so he pumped the revenue line on his company books by basically creating two billion bucks out of thin air. External government auditors, being basically in the employ of the wealthy, of course attacked anybody who brought this to their attention rather than actually look into the books. It took an internal auditor with a soul to actually dig his feet in, refuse to sign off on the cooked numbers, and generate enough red alarms to where the external auditors could no longer ignore the issue.

So, dude was arrested today and probably has an up to 7% chance of seeing serious prison time.

Given that his crime is “faking money up” rather than taking actual money from actual people, part of me is like “who gives a shit, then?” but apparently he did that to make this company seem more successful than it actually is, which causes other greedy shitheads to invest their actual money into his fake bullshit in the hopes that all of these already-rich comfortable fuckheads can get Even Richer.

I don’t care about that, either, but at least I can kind of see what the actual crime is there.

What I don’t see him being arrested for, though, is the crime of ruining the lives/careers of the 5,000ish people who work for “his” company. Sure, he exposed the whole “money isn’t real” thing to us proles via his acts, which is the one unforgivable crime to the elites. But now they’re punishing his company by stripping its arbitrary value of its high number, and replacing it with a much lower one (in other words, the stock price has tanked, which means the investors and banks that have loaned it real money are now wanting that all back, immediately, which is not something any company is prepared to do).

So, while he’ll get some small punishment, the folks who work there will, more than likely, suffer more than he ever will. He’ll get some cushy prison sentence, if any at all, then come out the other end still a very rich man. Everybody else gets to look for a new job during a global pandemic and imploding world economy.

Doesn’t seem particularly fair, does it. Anyway, here’s a meme for no reason at all.

fuck experian

haha just got my check for that experian data breach that was supposed to be like $125 a person if you didn’t want “free data monitoring” instead and everybody affected was like “fuck you, you’re clearly terrible at what you’re supposed to do so keep your free bullshit service and gimme the cash” and they were all whoa whoa whoa even though we made *checks notes* NINE HUNDRED AND NINETY FUCKING FOUR MILLION GODDAMNED DOLLARS in profit in 2018 we didn’t expect you rubes, you absolute fucking suckers who HAVE NO FUCKING CHOICE IN THE MATTER WHEN IT COMES TO GIVING US ALL OF YOUR PERSONAL IDENTIFYING INFO THAT WE PROMPTLY AND COMPREHENSIVELY LOST TO EVERY FUCKIN’ RUSSIAN DATA GOON AND NIGERIAN LOTTERY PRINCE ON THE PLANET to actually want us to PAY for our gross, criminal incompetence so we’re gonna have a rethink here” and then they made us all reconfirm that yes we wanted the fucking money due to us and they i dunno somehow have the pull to tell the gov’t and courts “yeah that settlement we agreed to? too much money, even though we have fucking GOBS of it even though we’re also objectively fucking terrible at our primary job” and lol how much did this check end up being for?

$8.65

I sure wish I could go to places I owe money to like Comed or my mortgage fuckers and be like “yeah, I _have_ the money, and I deffo agreed to pay this bill and shit but i’d rather just keep that money so I’m gonna give you like 7% of what I’m supposed to instead” and just walk away knowing that there’s fuckall they could do to me about it.

Every C-suite dickhead that’s ever worked at this reprehensible, actually-criminal enterprise should be prison currency somewhere, but there’s no god, no lord, and no justice in this world so i’m sure they’re off enjoying their new fourth yacht or whatever instead.