Fuck Larry Ellison

Rich Dickhead Ends Everything Because He Isn’t Glorified Enough

Sigh. It’s almost like the American model of Capitalist Philanthropy is a grossly-inefficient way to allocate research dollars or even choose what gets research in the first place.

Yeah, sure, he’s going to relaunch a COVID-19-focused charity or some shit instead, what the fuck ever. Think of all the wasted money and effort that went into… whatever the fuck his foundation has achieved up to this point. Tons of small, on-the-ground operations that were actually achieving good things are now going to have to scramble to figure out their funding that used to come from this twat, but who’s now going to spend however long redoing his foundation from the ground up and with a different goal for whatever reason. Just… a colossal waste and huge, negative impact on people actually doing the work.

Why should one rich asshole (and, even by the standard of All Billionaires Are Sociopathic Fuckfaces, ol’ Larry here is a REMARKABLE piece of shit) get to decide what’s worth focusing on in the first place? “bUt iTs HIS mOnEy!!!!” I can hear the bootlicking Stockholm Syndrome-havers spittle out onto their chins already.


And one of the putative “advantages” of capitalism is that it’s supposed to be efficient with the allocation of resources. How in the FUCK is it efficient to have every billionaire run his own charity foundation, aka tax dodge, each with its own grotesque layer of hangers-on sucking away admin dollars, than to just tax these cunts and allocate the money at a robust, federal level where it is needed? Where our democratically-elected representatives can listen to our will and we can therefore collectively decide where the money should go?

It isn’t. But we’ve decided that individual charity, sprayed about per the moment to moment whims and fancies of rich fucklords, is the best way to do this.

It’s clearly not. Tax these shitheads and distribute these funds at a federal level to maximize impact.

My Specific Beef With Steve Bannon

Poor Steve’s already living in “Dunk City: Population: Him” today so I don’t see a specific need to pile on him in general, though, of course, fuck him, he should rot in hell and/or prison for the rest of his time for his crimes, etc., and so on, but I do want to mention one specific, personal reason I loathe that motherfucker: he’s really ruined the rep of old white guys who are into ancient history, ie: me 😦

You see these dumbshits on Twitter (they all have avatars of some old, white, marble statues) all the time, they read like the first quarter of the Odyssey and maybe a single essay of Plato, but the rest of their knowledge literally comes from 20+ rewatchings of 300 and 600 hours of Assassin’s Creed. Deep as a puddle, these fucks.

Bannon is a classic example of this; remember when his star was still ascendant in the early Trump administration two/six million years ago? I remember reading at least three different articles about what a classical strategist he was, how everybody in the White House was scrambling to read Thucydides to catch up to Master Steve’s level… just ridiculous horseshit, all of it. Sure. The lessons of ancient Sparta, a slaveocracy run by about 30 families that never even amounted to much in Greece, much less as a world empire, have total relevance to running a bloodthirsty-yet-fading hyperpower in the 21st Century. Sure. Okay. Next, we’ll decide economic policy based on how one Dutch merchant cornered the tulip trade in the 17th Century, I’m sure that will work out just as well!

I’d love to pin this fucker down and ask him “okay, you know a tiny, tiny bit about ancient Greece, which was like 1/1000th of the world even at the time. Give me just ONE sentence on, I dunno, the Warring States era of China, which was contemporary to the Greece you claim to adore. Describe for me the role of the two primary Arabic tribal groupings in the pre-Islamic age in the Byzantine-Persians wars of the 6th Century, and their impact on the subsequent rise of Islam in the region. Fuck it, just answer me this, Oh Lord of Ancient History: was Timbuktu real? Poseur-assed fanboi. You ain’t a sophist. You ain’t shit”.

‘Cuz of this asshole and others like him in the laughably-named “Intellectual Dark Web”, now even expressing an interest in Roman history or the philosophy classics of ancient Athens is greeted with absolute suspicion by regular folks. And who can blame then, when the most and loudest fake fanbois of this shit are all also Nazis. 

Fuck man. Stop ruining my fandoms.

The Shit Rich People Get Away With Is Wild

Rick Dickhead Fucks Over Everyone, Might Even Pay The Price For It (But Don’t Hold Your Breath)

The gist here is that this rich prick of course felt that he wasn’t rich enough, so he pumped the revenue line on his company books by basically creating two billion bucks out of thin air. External government auditors, being basically in the employ of the wealthy, of course attacked anybody who brought this to their attention rather than actually look into the books. It took an internal auditor with a soul to actually dig his feet in, refuse to sign off on the cooked numbers, and generate enough red alarms to where the external auditors could no longer ignore the issue.

So, dude was arrested today and probably has an up to 7% chance of seeing serious prison time.

Given that his crime is “faking money up” rather than taking actual money from actual people, part of me is like “who gives a shit, then?” but apparently he did that to make this company seem more successful than it actually is, which causes other greedy shitheads to invest their actual money into his fake bullshit in the hopes that all of these already-rich comfortable fuckheads can get Even Richer.

I don’t care about that, either, but at least I can kind of see what the actual crime is there.

What I don’t see him being arrested for, though, is the crime of ruining the lives/careers of the 5,000ish people who work for “his” company. Sure, he exposed the whole “money isn’t real” thing to us proles via his acts, which is the one unforgivable crime to the elites. But now they’re punishing his company by stripping its arbitrary value of its high number, and replacing it with a much lower one (in other words, the stock price has tanked, which means the investors and banks that have loaned it real money are now wanting that all back, immediately, which is not something any company is prepared to do).

So, while he’ll get some small punishment, the folks who work there will, more than likely, suffer more than he ever will. He’ll get some cushy prison sentence, if any at all, then come out the other end still a very rich man. Everybody else gets to look for a new job during a global pandemic and imploding world economy.

Doesn’t seem particularly fair, does it. Anyway, here’s a meme for no reason at all.