BABY-SOFT CRYBULLIES

There are many gross features on the current moment, too many to catalog with any thoroughness. That said, one that's really redding my ass of late is the conservative urge to just... have ZERO FUCKING CHILL about any normal-assed thing whatsoever. 

It's bad enough to be ruled by cruel, fascist shitheads who want to inflict pain on every normal being they can get their greasy paws on. It's somehow WORSE that every one of them just... has all the chill of a small child who just got a raw chicken breast fast-balled at their face.

Trump's fucking teleprompter can't just be fucked up like any other piece of technology for a coupla minutes 'til the nerds figure it out. Nope. It's a LEFTIST MOOOSLIM CONSPIRACY among the ANTIFA COMMUNISTS OF THE U.N. designed to embarrass Dear Leader on the world stage. But he's too strong for that, he recovered and spoke extemporaneously in a fashion no other leader has ever managed! For fifteen whole minutes until the prompter came back! (motherfucker, read even ONE Fidel Castro or Mao in a Mood speech and get back to me. lazy prick). 

And even though he so mightily recovered, the Secret Service Is Investigating The Conspiracy! Heads will roll!

Christ. I cannot imagine being this much of a sweaty, unsatisfiable bitch for even one goddamned day, much less EVERY DAY FOREVER.

The most materially comfortable people in all of human history, at the summit of power of the strongest nation ever founded, and they just can't shut the fuck up about the smallest minor inconvenience in their day. 

Janky elevator in the shitty old U.N. building jerked roughly to a stop? IT WAS PLANNED!!! IF MELANIA AND TRUMP WEREN'T IN SUCH GOOD SHAPE, THE BEST SHAPE ANYONE HAS EVER SEEN, REALLY, EVERYBODY'S SAYING SO, THEY WOULD HAVE DIED!!! 

Fuck's sake. The average difficulties and indignities and discomforts your average single mom endures every single day would put any one of these tenderassed wimps into a fuckin' grave. Get the fuck outta my face already.